You Need a Lawyer Copyright ©2024 Alphasongs LLC (ASCAP) All rights reserved, www.Alphasongs.net Lyrics by Kai Cofer (ASCAP), Music by Matthew L. Kearns (ASCAP) From: The Process, a play by Kai Cofer. Verse One I don't know exactly what it is that you've done. But I know you need a lawyer 'stead of being on the run. Choosing an attorney is not an easy task. For every question answered there's another one to ask. Refrain Who? What? Why? Where? How? These questions arise. Off you go. Verse Two Now that you've been arrested you must try to rebuff. Solicitors and lawyers, like shackles, chains and cuff. Do not choose a firm like "Cheatam and Howe," unless you want to end up in the hoosegow. Refrain You will end up in the slammer! Off you go to prison, in jail! Off you go.   Bridge Too many lawyers don’t care about the crime. All they want to do is take your last dime. Beware of shady lawyers like "Screwum and Goode" They steal from their clients. That's how they make their livelihood. Verse Three So why not make it simple No need to sign and moan. I'll call my friend, Robert Hud, upon the telephone. We will make an appointment. I'm sure he'll take your case. Do I have some marinara here upon my face?   Notes: As we begin Scene Three of Act One of musical, the Process, Doug who is the roommate of our lead character Joseph, has figured out that Joseph has been arrested. Joseph is coming back to their apartment trying to figure things out and Doug knows that it is time for Joseph to “lawyer up” as they say. This song, You Need a Lawyer, provides a song for Doug’s urgent advice to joseph. In Kai’s lyrical work, he is often thinking about an existing song with his original lyrics. Lyrically, he was thinking a Gibert and Sullivan style of “patter” song would fit a song of Doug’s advisories. So I keep Doug’s part as a prominent solo in the song with other voices providing the instrumentation, coming in at the two choruses The third stanza of the lyrics seemed to be a good place for a bridge to provide variation between Verse two and three. The bridge has more rhythmic interplay and a nice contrasting flow different that the verses. It keeps things interesting in a musical sense Performance Notes: This piece is scored for small to medium vocal ensemble. The theatre performance will generally have one person per part. There is also a part written for hand claps. The clapping parts are a starting point for adding rhythmic emphasis. The hand rhythm part is optional, but it does add definition to the music and is well advised to include it. One can incorporate as written or get into more improvisational beatboxing to enhance rhythmic emphasis in the song. Have fun with it. Audio tracks generated with Cantamus software