We Don’t Appreciate Your Swearing Copyright ©2024 Alphasongs LLC (ASCAP) All rights reserved, www.Alphasongs.net Lyrics by Kai Cofer (ASCAP), Music by Matthew L. Kearns (ASCAP) From: The Process, a play by Kai Cofer. Ross – Baritone Soloist Verse One We don't appreciate your swearing. Dropping F-bombs is a vice. For people within an earshot, it's considered rude not nice. Bridge All that cussing and all that cursing. Using phrases that are blue. It reduces the respect that other people have for you. Verse Two We don't appreciate your swearing. It's offensive and it's crass. Profanity is vulgar, and it shows you have no class. Response There's a book to help stop cursing. You can buy it today. I can order you a copy. Joseph – (Different baritone or tenor soloist) No, you go f*** yourself okay!   Notes: At the end of Scene Five of Act One of musical, the Process, Joseph, the main character, brings himself to the Complaint Department to register a complaint about his recent arrest. He grows more irritated when he is skipped in the queue to register a complaint after a long wait. In response to Josephs’s verbal abuse Ross and the literal choir of euphemisms present this song to Joseph. Of course, Joseph remains irritated at the conclusion of this song, being told, We Don’t Appreciate Your Swearing and giving his response in the last line. Musically this song is short and to the point. The two verses convey the song title’s message in the first line. In the play, the background ensemble represents euphemisms in costume. The two female voices in the play are a high Soprano and a Mezzo-soprano, but that could easily become a Soprano and Alto part along with the Tenor and Bass, giving this song a very standard SATB background “instrumental” section along with the Baritone soloist, Ross from the Complaint Department. Performance Notes: This piece is scored for small to medium vocal ensemble. The theatre performance will generally have one person per part. There are also two parts written for hand claps. The clapping parts are a starting point for adding rhythmic emphasis. The hand rhythm part is optional, but it does add definition to the music and is well advised to include it. One can incorporate as written or get into more improvisational beatboxing to enhance rhythmic emphasis in the song. The final line of the song should be sung by someone other than the baritone soloist. In the play, it will be Joseph, the main character doing this line. Also, this final line has an obfuscated swear word which will likely be the actual F-Bomb we’re familiar with. The Joseph singing the last line can substitute singing “F” (eff) instead of the real 4 letter F-word. Have fun with it. Audio tracks generated with Cantamus software